7/8/2009 6:00:00 PM
SUNDAY SCHOOL LESSON/Sobs, sniffles and smiles
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By REV. DONALD CAVINESS
"O Lord, who may abide in Your tent? Who may dwell on Your holy hill? He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness, and speaks truth in his heart. He does not slander with his tongue, nor does evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend" (Psalm 15:1-3)
It was the great short story writer, O. Henry, who wrote: "Life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating." To be sure, life is full of many hurts and disappointments that bring us, at times, great emotional pain. It would be difficult (perhaps impossible) to score these hurts in severity and determine which ones produce the deepest wounds, the ugliest scars. However, I have to say that near the top of the list one surely would find that injury mentioned in verse three of our passage where David speaks of the one who takes up a reproach against his friend. Surely what David has in mind here is that individual who betrays a friend either by his own words of slander or by giving ear to the false and hurtful reports voiced by others. In either case, the result is the same - a friend's trust has be abused and the character of a friend has been assaulted unjustly.
It is one thing for us to admit that this sort of thing does happen. We may even be willing to share how it, at one time or another, has happened to us. But it is quite a bit more difficult for any of us to confess that we, too, have been guilty of this disgraceful behavior and have contributed to the hurt inflicted upon another - a friend.
This betrayal of a friend really is an easy thing to do, isn't it? And truth be told, we can accomplish it just as easily with our ears as with our tongues. Charles Spurgeon, in his book, The Treasury of David, suggests that "in slander and robbery, the receiver is as bad as the thief . . . if there were not gratified hearers of ill reports, there would be an end to the trade of spreading them." Oh, how quickly we give ourselves to the hearing of a juicy piece of gossip, a degrading report, a negative statement about another - while failing to stand up for the character and integrity of that friend who is being attacked or belittled! Howard Butt, in his book, Who Can You Trust?, even goes so far as to suggest that within each of us resides what he calls a "Judas chromosome" - an aspect of our fallen natures which produces within us the capacity for betrayal. It may show up in small, almost insignificant acts of disloyalty or non-supportiveness. It may be displayed in a forsaking or abandoning of pledges or vows (as in a marriage), or in the dishonoring of promises and commitments (as in the workplace). If Howard is correct, then this bent towards betrayal is something of which we must all be aware and against which we must be on our guard.
David certainly saw, not only the danger of such action, but also the ugly destructiveness of such betrayal. The specific word he uses here means 'to endure'. In other words, he has in mind the individual who 'endures' or 'tolerates' a word of reproach against his friend - with no word of defense -- and thus, proves himself to be no true friend at all. Such an individual, David writes, is not worthy of abiding in the tent of the Lord or dwelling on His holy hill. He is not worthy of the fellowship of God or of the company of the saints. He has given himself to a work of unrighteousness and has agreed (in his own heart) with falsehood rather than with truth.
If you have had the misfortune of experiencing such a painful betrayal, you may yet carry the scars of that hurt. You also may be toting around, even now, a heavy burden of what Howard Butt calls 'shame' - the "severe embarrassment" which often leads to "an emotion of self-doubt or dishonor, feeling disgraced or unworthy". It's sad, but it happens. When one is betrayed by another - especially a very close friend (a husband, a co-worker) - one often begins to think that in some way he or she must have caused this betrayal. Therefore, feelings of self-doubt and unworthiness begin to set in and before you know it you become a disgrace even in your own eyes. While you and I cannot control all the thoughtless actions or words of others, we can choose to rise above the hurt. In faith, we can look to God for the grace we need in that dark place of emotional anguish, grace sufficient to sustain us and give us hope that some day, in some manner, God will turn this pain into joy and will bring victory out of this tragedy.
Howard Butt suggests that we should "never be surprised by betrayal". While I understand what he means, I refuse to look for betrayal by a friend or Christian brother as an inevitable event, as if gossip or character assassination is so prevailing as to be expected - even in the Church. No, with David, I choose, rather, to condemn such behavior as 'reprobate-like' and opt, instead, to honor those who fear the Lord and live out the love of Christ in their relationships, keeping faith with their friends. And through all the 'sobs, sniffles, and smiles' (in good times and in bad) I choose to look to God's faithfulness and steadfast love to sustain me even when abandoned by one who was once close. May God enable you to do the same. God bless you all.
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The Rev. Donald Caviness is the pastor of First Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia. He may be reached at athike1@yahoo.com.
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